So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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