Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Screwed.edu
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize