I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
