he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You are a genius and a whore.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
