he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize