The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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