I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
