wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize