The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
