Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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