oh god the rape fog is back!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
