smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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