"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize