Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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