How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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