I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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