To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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