so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
