my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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