we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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