i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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