i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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