Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
