I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
