summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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