i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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