Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church