im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize