no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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