oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
