i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
