hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
