I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
