You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
