How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
