just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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