I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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