You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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