so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
