Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize