That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
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took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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