When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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