i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
