you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
