i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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