somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize