I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
