In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
