I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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