Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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