She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
