Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
